The fight against Spousal rape

Four years ago, Crystal Pretzer Harris was repeatedly assaulted and raped at home by her own husband while her two young children were in the house. Although her husband has now been convicted and is serving jail time for his horrendous crimes, Crystal illustrates that it is extremely difficult for victims of rape to receive the justice they deserve. She is currently continuing to fight against the law and court system which has ordered her to pay the legal fees and spousal support to the man who abused and raped her.

While she was trapped in the abusive relationship, Crystal was afraid of what her husband would do if she tried to leave him. She realised that a restraining order would not provide enough protection from her husband who was violent and proclaiming frequent death threats. She considered buying a gun but there was a 20 day waiting period in the state of Califorina, where she lives. As a result, she opted for buying a tape recorder to collect evidence of her husband’s threats. Instead of receiving the death threats as she expected, that day Crystal recorded her husband raping her. “I knew for sure that I would need that tape if I wanted to have evidence in a criminal courtroom”, she explains. “The exact thought going through my head as it was happening was, ‘a horrific crime is happening to me; how can I make sure to document that it is happening to me?’” Crystal’s quick thinking during the attack is what she believes lead to her husband’s conviction. Even with her husband’s violent background, without the tape recorder being at hand and her bravery in using it, she states that her husband would never have been prosecuted. Crystal describes that her husband was only convicted for one of the three criminal charges brought against him; “it shows how hard it is to convict in marital rape cases. I had a frickin tape of his crime, two of them on tape, and the jury convicted him on only one charge. That should show you how difficult it is.”

Although Crystal lives in America, there are low conviction rates for rape all around the world. In the UK, government reports estimate that only 20% of victims report their rape and of those, only 6% are ever convicted. Crystal may owe her life to that tape recording, but for millions of others who were not able to record their assault, they are extremely unlikely to receive the justice they deserve. Victims in the UK are told it has to be demonstrated beforehand that they’ll receive a ‘guilty’ verdict before they’re even given a chance at trial. Strong evidence such as a signed confession and some forensic evidence have been considered “not enough evidence” to proceed to court.

Crystal illustrates the on-going victimisation she feels at the hands of the law; “A Judge ordered me to pay my husband's family court attorney fees of $47,000 as well as $1000 a month in spousal support while we awaited trial. Once he is released, if the law doesn't change, I will be subject to paying the spousal support again.” Currently she is fighting against this and has just passed the first hurdle in changing the law. “I think the law has perhaps not taken marital rape seriously enough in the past. But I believe attitudes are changing about it. I do not want any other woman, or man, to suffer the way I have had to.”

Thank you Crystal for the interview and for continuing the fight.

Challenging rape stereotypes.

Today I held my first workshop at the DIY feminist festival in Manchester. For the subject I chose rape myths. When asked, the group discussed what rape myths are and provided a variety of excellent examples. One that they neglected to mention however, is the myth that you can tell a rapist through their appearance and that you can tell who is a real victim through what they look and act like.

I asked the group to draw a stereotypical rapist and then what they think a real rapist actually looks like. I gave them the option to do the same thing with the stereotypical view of a victim. The results were interesting, as well as having a good laugh at our drawings we discovered that a few different people drew very similar things.

The victim stereotype was repeatedly drawn as:
-Young
-Thin
-Big breasted
-Dressed provocatively

The rapist stereotype was repeatedly drawn as:
-Well built
-Strong features
-Big eye-brows
-Angry and evil looking (knives and fangs)
-Jumping from a bush or alley way

These are really excellent observations of stereotypes we are all passively fed all the time. Everyone drew similar things, which shows it’s a shared stereotype that is widespread. The ‘realistic’ drawings showed a real understanding of the type of people who really do commit rape - the complete opposite of the stereotype.

My favourite is Ellen’s drawing of a geeky looking boyfriend holding gifts and love hearts because the most common perpetrators of rape are partners, not knife wheedling fanged maniacs in bushes.






Thank you to the ladies who came to the workshop for letting me post their drawings - they’re all really good and you all had some interesting and well informed things to say.

One man cried wolf. Women cry rape.

Women who "cry rape" makes an eye-catching headline. Both the general public and professionals could be forgiven for thinking it is extremely common and that most women lie about being raped. After all, we seem to hear these reports more often than the experiences of genuine victims.

Sharon Xuereb is a senior lecturer in Psychology and has worked directly with convicted rapists. She explains that professionals aren’t immune to rape myths; “rape myths are these unrealistic beliefs that various people hold… this includes police officers, people who sit on the jury… many people involved in the investigation”. She illustrates that openly doubting the victim is “a very dangerous game to get into” because they may well be genuine. As long as there is that possibility, they all need to be given the support and encouragement they require. At the moment though, this isn’t the reality.

The women who do lie and “cry rape” not only affect the falsely accused but real victims. It creates doubt in everyone, even the victim themselves. Victims of partner rape often find it hard to define the abuse as rape, because society tells us a ‘real’ rape is committed by a stranger in an alleyway. Anything other than that is difficult to articulate, especially if the victim is experiencing other forms of domestic abuse; physical and emotional which often comes as part of the package. Through my own experience and knowledge of other survivors of partner rape, I believe victims suffer from something similar to ‘Stockholm Syndrome’ in which they are so controlled by the abuser that they begin to doubt themselves and identify with the person abusing them. Antonella Sofia Zottola is a brave survivor of partner rape who wishes to speak out about her experience in order to encourage change. She describes the confusion her partner brought about; “most of the time I tried to be in denial because the truth would be too much.”

The police reasonably investigate allegations from both sides of the ‘argument’. However what is not reasonable is the method they can use to investigate, focusing on whether the woman is “crying rape” rather than whether the perpetrator is guilty or not. Joanne Holder knows from her experiences working with victims that the police “definitely question and doubt when victims tell them of any situation that might not be a stranger [rape] scenario” - acting on the myth of ‘real’ rape being committed by a stranger and anything else being viewed as suspicious, even though in reality only 8% of rapes are committed by strangers. This cultural and societal reaction along with the victims own confusion can make it very difficult to be taken seriously and treated the same as any other rape victim.

Some victims who report rapes and especially acquaintance rapes are still treated in insensitive ways; their morals and sexual history are put into question even though they are irrelevant. Antonella explains that she felt the police judged her not on her account and evidence she provided but on her sexual history and because she was wearing lingerie during the rape. Rape cases are notoriously difficult to reach court as it has to be proven beforehand that a ‘guilty’ verdict is likely before a trial is allowed. Even though she had a letter in which he confessed to physically assaulting her and additional forensic evidence, her case never even reached the court room. She describes that “I couldn't even explain myself, the police just had made their minds made up”. In partner rape cases there can be a strong argument that the rapist did not realise sex was not consensual just because they were already in a consensual relationship with the victim. Screaming “no” is not clear enough, struggling is not clear enough. What would be extremely clear in any other case, is not clear enough when a partner rapes the one they are meant to love. Antonella describes her own experience of this, “they said to me yes it's non-consensual but we have no proof that he knew what he was doing was wrong.” She also feels that she was not in a fit emotional state to make a statement but once she had made one, they “twisted” her words against her; “I said I wanted to take control meaning I felt I had no other choice. I was trying to see how I could control my safety and make it stop. They twisted everything, saying I wanted to take control meaning I was consenting.”. Antonella’s experience with the police strongly echoes that of many other survivors. It is disturbing to know that this treatment is so widespread. It is not a one off.

Additionally, we are still branding women as liars or being told that we are exaggerating, partner rape is not 'real' or serious and we are still blaming victims instead of rapists. Under 6% of rapists are convicted of the 20% that are reported. That means 98.8% of rapists go free. I thought this was meant to be a crime? Slut Walk is just the beginning of much needed media awareness. There are thousands of women right now screaming and crying out inside for their voices to be heard. Why are we still ignoring them?

A ten minute documentary examining a person experience of partner rape and the wider implications of rape myths:

Silence from Laura Connett on Vimeo.

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References

Statistics: Allen, J and Myhill, A (2002) Rape and sexual assault of women:
the extent and nature of the problem. Home Office Research, Development and Statistics Directorate.

Permission given for use of quotes:
Joanne Holder, interviewed by Laura Connett during ‘Silence’ (documentary, 2011)
Sharon Xeureb, interviewed by Laura Connett during ‘Silence’ (documentary, 2011)
Antonella Sofia Zottola interviewed by Laura Connett (article research, 2011)
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