While she was trapped in the abusive relationship, Crystal was afraid of what her husband would do if she tried to leave him. She realised that a restraining order would not provide enough protection from her husband who was violent and proclaiming frequent death threats. She considered buying a gun but there was a 20 day waiting period in the state of Califorina, where she lives. As a result, she opted for buying a tape recorder to collect evidence of her husband’s threats. Instead of receiving the death threats as she expected, that day Crystal recorded her husband raping her. “I knew for sure that I would need that tape if I wanted to have evidence in a criminal courtroom”, she explains. “The exact thought going through my head as it was happening was, ‘a horrific crime is happening to me; how can I make sure to document that it is happening to me?’” Crystal’s quick thinking during the attack is what she believes lead to her husband’s conviction. Even with her husband’s violent background, without the tape recorder being at hand and her bravery in using it, she states that her husband would never have been prosecuted. Crystal describes that her husband was only convicted for one of the three criminal charges brought against him; “it shows how hard it is to convict in marital rape cases. I had a frickin tape of his crime, two of them on tape, and the jury convicted him on only one charge. That should show you how difficult it is.”
Although Crystal lives in America, there are low conviction rates for rape all around the world. In the UK, government reports estimate that only 20% of victims report their rape and of those, only 6% are ever convicted. Crystal may owe her life to that tape recording, but for millions of others who were not able to record their assault, they are extremely unlikely to receive the justice they deserve. Victims in the UK are told it has to be demonstrated beforehand that they’ll receive a ‘guilty’ verdict before they’re even given a chance at trial. Strong evidence such as a signed confession and some forensic evidence have been considered “not enough evidence” to proceed to court.
Crystal illustrates the on-going victimisation she feels at the hands of the law; “A Judge ordered me to pay my husband's family court attorney fees of $47,000 as well as $1000 a month in spousal support while we awaited trial. Once he is released, if the law doesn't change, I will be subject to paying the spousal support again.” Currently she is fighting against this and has just passed the first hurdle in changing the law. “I think the law has perhaps not taken marital rape seriously enough in the past. But I believe attitudes are changing about it. I do not want any other woman, or man, to suffer the way I have had to.”
Thank you Crystal for the interview and for continuing the fight.
Good and important post. This is a problem that isn't being addressed adequately.
ReplyDeleteOne reason for that is the inexplicable continuation of archaic notions about the duty of wives to "submit" to their husbands. That cultural idea needs to change for victims of this terrible crime to be heard.
" Victims in the UK are told it has to be demonstrated beforehand that they’ll receive a ‘guilty’ verdict before they’re even given a chance at trial. Strong evidence such as a signed confession and some forensic evidence have been considered “not enough evidence” to proceed to court." That is exactly what's happening to me. Appalled how our justice system treats us :(
ReplyDeleteMarital rape is a sensitive issue. There is the question of whether the husband is abusing the wife or performing one’s responsibility. As the matter gets more defined, it is also important to specify when to call it as abusive or just a call for a biological need. But one thing’s for sure: if the woman felt harassed, it’s time to call for legal support before things get worse.
ReplyDeleteMarlin Sayle
I agree with what Marlin said. Even if your partner insists that it’s just one of his prerogatives as a husband, you must not still force a woman with what you want. You have to treat a woman with respect.
ReplyDeleteCollin Deck
Reports may not be that widespread and others may not be aware about it, but there are a lot of women who experienced marital rape. For some reason, these women tend to keep it to themselves and do not ask help from others, but this is a serious case. It’s important that you seek for help.
ReplyDeleteJavier Hoppes